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(Haha, I wonder if I am going to be laughed at with this little confession.)

I frequently take the bus home to KL from Singapore on Friday nights, so, to kill the 5 or sometimes 7 hours journey, I might be reading, or laming with my laptop doing absolutely nothing because of no internet connection, or listening to my walkman phone with repeated songs because someone still don’t want to buy me an iPod, or listening to the radio with lotsa statics because of the mountains and trees.

While surfing through the radio channels one night, I stumbled upon 98.8 FM, a chinese music station, and a program where listeners get to dial in and talk heart to heart with Chan Fong. It starts around 11:30pm and ends around 2am.

The perverted side of me gets the kick out of listening to someone else’s problem. Although, I don’t quite get every word of the conversation because I don’t quite understand Cantonese/Mandarin much, just basic sentences, but I can understand the gist of the problems.

My parents told me not to listen too much to this program because those calling in are paid actors and actresses. I mean, the problems that they faced are so very serious, sometimes ridiculous, I mean, is it even logical or realistic?

Such as, a wife called in one night, and was telling Chan Fong that her husband has ran away from home, leaving their 2 children behind, aged 2 and 1. The husband ran away because he borrowed money from loan sharks (ah longs) to gamble, and the loan sharks are looking for him. Being a dutiful wife, she took care of some of the gambling debts by applying credit cards and withdrawing money from them. All in all she withdrew about RM60,000 and she has to pay the minimum sum of RM2-3,000 per month. So now she is in a turmoil, she has to raise the kids by herself, while struggling to work 2 jobs; one day job, and one part time night job giving tuition. The loan sharks have not managed to find her yet but has looked for her family members. She is still keeping in touch with the jobless husband, and has told him that if he has any heart left, please send some money over because she really needs help. He, in turned, asked for money because he has no food to eat. She is still paying his handphone bills. Halfway through the conversation, she broke down.

Chan Fong was curious as to how she ended up with this guy. She said that they were in a relationship for 5 years before they got married, and in the 5 years, he was very hardworking and never had any gambling problem. Until recently, when he lost his job, he totally changed for the worst. She also mentioned that she is very afraid to face her family, because they objected to their marriage previously. She is, after all a degree holder while he is not, and that seeing he was really hardworking, she wanted to prove to them that being a degree holder is not at all important in life. But now that things are so screwed, going back to them will only prove that they were right all along.

Chan Fong’s advice was, first and foremost, to cut off all ties with the husband, never give money to him anymore, and even cut off the handphone bill. Chan Fong told her not to be soft hearted anymore, and seek family’s help. Whatever it is, whenever there is a problem, blood is always thicker than water, and that your closest ties, your family, will always be there to help.

If my parents heard this problem, they would dismiss it off as ‘acting’. Are there really such stupid men out there who has the heart to leave his wife and kids and run away from home? Stupid enough to even borrow money from loan sharks when there is not enough money to gamble? What about the wife? Why did she even put herself into debts by withdrawing money from credit cards? As a degree holder herself, doesn’t she know that banks charge very high interest from that kind of transaction? Why even bother to save the husband since he is so useless? Plus he, is a gambler and a hard core gambler will always have this very one thinking, "If I can just use this last sum of money to bet, maybe I can win it really big and can finally settle everything." But it is usually not that case, no.

I suppose these are real life problems that one in out of ten families would face. I do believe there exists such stupid men and stupid women. Even in my circle of friends and families, I have seen sheer brainless, foolish, irresponsible acts… all because of greed, because of power and because of ‘face’. I think these are universal problems faced by Chinese people. Hey, you can even watch it in TVB series. Dramas, whether in TV or in real-life exist because of these universal problems.

Anyway, when I think my life is a mess, well, as bad as it sounds, there are others far off worse than me, and I suppose that provides a little consolation.

I do wish the program would continue because I really like listening to it. Chan Fong, keep up the great work!

Yes indeed.

I don’t have to explain long.

If I were to look like this:

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I would have more readers than this:

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Don’t try to deny there, let’s face the truth.

Even if I were to write a stupid statement but if I looked like Angelina Jolie, people would be still interested to read what I have to write, spend time on my blog and agree to everything I say, no matter wrong or right. If I looked like the latter but I discussed politics, science, general knowledge and currency exchange, articles that made sense and important news, I’d still get less hits.

It’s true! Then we have to just admit that all the beauty is skin deep, shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover is pure bullcrap. We are more prone to seeing beautiful people on tv, on magazines that somehow, we are all brainwashed to think that beautiful looking people are NORMAL and acceptable where else ordinary looking people are SPASTICALLY UGLY ONLY EXTREME MAKEOVERS CAN SAFE THEM. We are so fast to pass a judgement. Even if we get to know ordinary folks and we think they are beautiful on the inside, humorous, smart, witty, intelligent yadda yadaa, we still think that they are SPASTICALLY UGLY LOOKING ONLY EXTREME MAKEOVERS CAN SAFE THEM.

Like why?? Why can’t ordinary looking folks like me be chosen to appear on tv or magazine covers if they are really to promote beauty within, ‘because I’m worth it’, hah hah? Or have you ever wondered why NONE of the OPRAH’S viewers in the studio looked ORDINARY? Or those MTV room raiders? They are so full of just-enough make ups and just-blowned hair which lead us to think that EVERYBODY looks beautiful but in REALity not everyone is. It is so bad until, when we see an ordinary person, ordinary IS ugly.

ORDINARY IS UGLY.

Anyway I stopped buying magazines because they are so full of fake looking people and it’s always almost the same bunch of people on the cover. Let’s see them feature real life people, people who are ordinary looking….like you.

Contrary to popular belief, by right, as according to the true Chinese culture, gifts should be exchanged by Chinese New Year’s eve.

Gifts = mandarins, peanuts, etc those that you put in those red plastic bags when you go visiting.

When I was younger, I remembered very clearly how my parents were rushing to our friends and relatives’ houses delivering these gifts come Chinese New Year. Nowadays, people just present them during visiting.

On the 1st day of Chinese New Year, most Chinese families have vegetarian meal as the 1st meal. Reason? To eat meat means to take life and it is considered bad to take life as the 1st thing you do in Chinese New Year. This will explain why vegetarian restaurants are unusually packed and crowded this time around.

In any case, food for the 1st day is prepared the day before (eve) because no one wants to use a meat chopper (cleaver) on Chinese New Year’s day. It looks bad and it sounds bad when it is used! *chop chop chop*

The 1st day is for visiting friends and relatives. Young people (like me) go visiting and older people stay at home to receive visitors. Young people are usually given presents in the form of cash in red packets known as Hong Bao or Ang Pow.

“Young” includes all unmarried persons of both sexes. It is not uncommon for a person, maybe 30 or 40 years old, to receive this red packet from his parents or uncles and aunts because he is still “young”. Auspicious words are said in New Year greetings like Year Year Got Fish, Step Step High Rise, In Out Safely, Body Healthy etc Children are warned not to quarrel or say bad words during this season.

Some businesses reopen on the 2nd day (like the car workshop near my house), but most on the 4th or 5th day.

Some have a token reopening on the 2nd day, because it is auspicious to do. The token reopening takes the form of opening the door and shifting some chairs or tables or making business calls, and then the business “closes” for the day.

According to some ancient writing, the 1st 8 days of the New Year are:- 1st day for chickens, 2nd for dogs, 3rd for pigs, 4th for sheep, 5th for oxen, 6th for horses, 7th for human beings and 8th for grains. The belief is that if these days are clear and bright the respective creatures born on those days will mature well and will be healthy. If the days are dark, the creatures borned will not prosper and will face disaster.

One special tradition for Southern Chinese is to eat raw fish on the 7th day. This is a million-dollar business in many areas in Southeast Asia. It is raw fish sliced very thin, almost like tissue paper, and eaten with a mixture of fresh vegetables, condiments and specially prepared sauce comprising ingredients such as plum sauce, sugar, vinegar, sesame oil, pounded groundnuts, ginger, pomelo, and other ingenious conconctions.

Raw fish is colloquially called Yu Sang, which literally means “fish raw”. Fish is yu which has the same sound as the word “excess” or “extra” and sang is life. Therefore to eat Yu Sang is to have extra life.