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OKlar, I’ll stop whining already. Cos my friends are getting the vibes that my posts are getting more depressed cum suicidal.

I’m not suicidal and I’ll never be because life is just far too interesting for me to let go, so don’t worry. But thanks for all your love. It’s a nice place here to get all of your frustrations and disappointments out because no one ever shuts me up here. This place listens to me, although sometimes I do get irked that it never responds but it’s still a nice place. And I do feel a lot better after that. I may not be totally honest with the things I mentioned, but when I read back, I knew what I’ve been thru and in a certain way, it helps me grow.

OK OK I’ll stop again.

MY PERIOD FINALLY ARRIVED TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And having fucking cramps which is fucking painful like hell.

I finally completed my Phoenix Ace Wright Attorney Trials and Tribulations!!!! What a twist on the story!!!!!!!!!

Oh, tell you a funny incident.

The last weekend when I was home, I was asking my family if any of them got a 3G phone so that I can show off my video call function hahaha. But no one did.

So my dad, he did the unthinkable. He purposely go and buy a Nokia N70 and gave his half spoilt Motorola to my sister, just because he wanted the video call function. One early morning when I was in a cab, my family video called me. It was quite l-a-m-e lar I guess because like, hellooooo, this is such an ‘old’ technology but we were all waving at each other at the phone like a bunch of sakais.

The other time, I was doing my facial… and you know… I was like naked on the top because when you have facial, you just wrap a sarong to cover from armpits onwards so when I received a video call and it was from ‘Dad’, I was in a state of horror at that moment. Oh gawd what will they think if they see me only covered from chest area and I was sleeping on a bed and looking tired from work??? At first I ignored the call but it rang again so only one thing came to my mind. I’m pretty sure dad was showing off this technology to someone else. So trying to focus the camera close up to my face, I answered the call and my brother was on the other side. CAN’T THIS BE ANY WORSE??? Ewww. Of course the good thing about video is that I can capture the surroundings to really prove that I was having my facial, so I guess it wasn’t that bad. We waved at each other again, I screamed FACIAL FACIAL FACIAL on the phone as loud as I could before they had any chance to think that I was doing something else and we said our goodbyes. I got my eyelashes curled too. So now I look kawaiiiiiiiiii. I mean, I look more kawaiiiiiiiiiiii than usual.

Alright, think I’ll go take my bath now and change my pad.

My dear faithful reader,

How did you spend your last weekend? Well, if you’re not going to tell me, then I shall shamelessly tell you how I spent mine.

I was back in KL last weekend. At first, I thought of visiting a friend of mine, who’s father just passed away recently. Well, seeing that this friend is my boyfriend’s friend and my boyfriend don’t quite bother, so shan’t I. So I didn’t visit this friend after all.

Anyway, I woke up at about 11 plus on Saturday morning, which is considerably early by my standard. (Normally I wake up about 2pm, skip breakfast and lunch and head straight to dinner. Save cost mar.) I lazed at the living room for a while, and noticed my parents were happier than normal. They smiled at me, handed (more like shoved) me a form, asked me to fill in my particulars such as IC and mobile phone number.

"Eh, I’m your daughter wor, don’t tell me you don’t memorize my details wan meh?", I asked my parents. Dad always buy number wut. "Then you memorize ours or not?", dad gangster. Wah, early morning wanna challen me.

"OKok, fill in for what? Got money meh??", I gangster back.

"Ya GOT! RM625!", my mum joined in.

…

Haih, parents nowadays *shakes head*.

So it’s true, I filled up the form and got dragged to the nearby post office and collected RM625 on the spot. That is the fuel subsidy for the whole year the government’s providing for its citizens. Only car owners can collect the subsidy. Very simple procedure, just fill up the form, go to the counter, submit, show IC, thumbprint, then collect your cash. Within minutes. Cos my area is like far from the city, more like jungle place where nobody lives here except chickens and wild boars so I didn’t need to queue for long. In fact, no one was at the post office except me and my parents. Such a sad place. Fortunately, I can still buy an ice cream cone here at RM0.50 with double scoops of chocolate! Tee hee hee. Your area can or not?????

Have you gotten your fuel subsidy yet? Go take it lah, better than nothing.

After handing over the RM625 to my mother which she happily accepts, we returned home and I started practicing on my violin. I think this was the only weekend I really spent my time not playing DS and not watching movies, instead, practice my violin. About like…. half an hour or so lah, then bored cannot concentrate oredi. Weather so hot.

And suddenly, I was thinking of Pek Yen’s personal MSN message when I was last online. She being occupied with her 1,500 pieces of jigsaw puzzle. That got me itching to play too, so I dug out one of my old 1,500 jigsaw puzzle given to me when I was younger by my parents as a birthday gift. Or was it because I got all A’s for my UPSR or something. Don’t remember.

Now, if you think that because I was about 12 or 14 years old, my parents would buy me those Hello Kitty, Disney Mickey Donald cutesy cartoon characters or Dragonball type of jigsaw puzzles. You’re wrong. Remember, I was real young OK? And my parents are supercool creatures.

They bought me this type of jigsaw puzzle:

Yeahhh, it’s like those comic types, with lots of small weird, funny, lewd, eccentric characters with some nudity and cheeky cheeky people. The theme of this jigsaw puzzle is hidden video cameras. As you can see, you can find video cameras at every inch of the puzzle. Sorry lah, some pieces are missing, so long already this jigsaw puzzle. I think got more than 10 years. But it’s very vintage lor, and these kinda puzzle pictures are so hard to find these days. Actually, make that CANNOT FIND AT ALL. They used to be on sale at Parkson and Yaohan, and were quite expensive during that time. These days you can only find those scenaries, animals, babies omg, so fucking boring lor. Only one type of shaded colour, one or two objects in the entire frame… sheesh, where is the fun??? My jigsaw puzzle can see cleavage and ass hehehehe.

Anyone know where to buy these type of jigsaw puzzles ar? I searched at Amazon also don’t have

Anyhoo, I completed the puzzle within a few hours. Not much of a challenge for me cos I’ve done it like a million times. Eh, mind you, I didn’t even have the luxury to refer to its original picture at its box because the box has gone missing somehow. So I depended a lot on my trustee memory and jiggy skills. I do love jigsaw puzzles. If you intend to buy one for me, please don’t buy me those boring arts or paintings or animals, I will puke and HULK SMASH it. If you can find hor, congrats lor and I will love you. If you cannot find, try again.

On to dinner at Delifrance with completely FREE wifi and live telecast of Indonesia Open, I learnt from my brother that our very own Malaysia’s single badminton player Lee Chong Wei is ranked number 2 in the world. Number 2!!!!! Damn proud. Shallow as it may seem, I really didn’t think that we are now still so good in this game, since I hardly ever hear that team Malaysia wins anything. Check out his Wiki. So kewl.

And guess what I did on Sunday?

Yup.

METEOR GARDEN WHOLE DAY. AGAIN. This time with my sis. Now she’s an addict too, and a converted fan. Nice.

Mission accomplished.

So, how was your weekend?

Haiya, I kept thinking that Father’s Day is next week. So I didn’t manage to get any gifts for my father this time.

A lot of friends and extended family said that I look like my father. There are many things, after all, that I am today that resembles a lot like my father. We both love music, can stay awake till wee hours in the morning like late night creatures, are both sarcastic jokers, love badminton, love sushis, love coffee, love to talk non-stop, love singing, and love classic Chinese tvb series.

My dad is really funny, that is one quality that I love about him a lot. And he understands my jokes and have the ability to add on even funnier statements than mine and we both will challenge each other to see who can come up with the funniest sentences to say. My mum will usually laugh at the side until her stomach hurts and cry.

Dad is always never mushy or lovey dovey or intimate kinda person, unlike my mum. I remember when I was in my church confirmation camp, I was so surprised that he wrote me a letter using a typewriter (that time still got no computer OK). The letter was actually requested by the church, whereby parents will write a note to their children to tell them how much they love their kids. I still remember reading a sentence that goes like "although we don’t usually tell you how much we love you, but deep down inside you know by our actions". My dad is shy about saying "I love you" hehe but I guess most older generations are.

In fact, I just sent an SMS to my dad, "Happy Father’s Day. I love you." and he replied "Thanks and take care". Hahaha! It’s good to know, I know he loves me.

Recent trip to Underwater World, Sentosa, Singapore. Dad feeding the sting ray.

When I was staying at Pekeliling Flats, I went to school by foot and everytime I reminisce about this, there is this memory of my father carrying me on his back. That day, while walking home from school with my parents, it rained all of a sudden. I was carrying my school bag and walking quickly, we didn’t carry any umbrella and was drenched with rain. Puddles of water were everywhere and everytime I came across one I would stop for a while and tried to jump across the puddle. Hahahaha. That slowed us down a bit so my mother asked my father to carry me. And he did, with me and my school bag and I remembered sulking cos I loved jumping across puddles of water. And when I was at his back, I saw veins popping out from his head and his face was turning red and he was walking as fast as possible. Then I knew I was heavy and I felt guilty all of a sudden. I was really really young but I cannot remember any other memories of walking to and from school except this.

Want to see how the red face looks like?

This red. Check out the veins.

This was taken during one of our last church community Christmas karaoke session.

Hah, if you guessed that he was singing a rock song, you were wrong.

He was singing a christmas song…

Don’t play play, if you listen to my dad sing oldies, can melt your heart.

At the age of 54 now, my dad is our church’s BEC leader and he plays badminton every week with his friends.

At age 54 now, he can out play me in badminton. I mean, expecting that at the age of 54, some reactions will be slow, cannot stretch legs that much, cannot run very fast, cannot jumping smash, hit shuttle no power, but at the age of 54, he can even out play my brother, who was once coached by Yang Yang, and even if both me and my brother combined forces, still cannot win my dad.

And to think that my dad used to be a ‘gangster’. At least that’s what my mum said, or maybe she just want us to have the impression that my dad used to be very ‘ying’.

I got gangster dad.

Though lately, my dad has been quite vocal, as in, speaks his mind. Last time, he has never been the kind of person who will complain even if he is served with cockroach in his tea. Nowadays, he complains outrightly even when the service is slow by 2 minutes. I think when one gets older, you’ve got more bravery. Which is, a good thing.

Happy Father’s Day, dad! I love you and always will.

I’m annoyed today because the world pays for stupid people, who are stupid, but act as though they’re very clever and very high up there. Snobbish fuckheads. Do they know that they’re stupid? I’m so annoyed. Really annoyed. Annoyed that these people get paid to be stupid.

Anyway, MrJetLi celebrated his birthday at the office today and I tried to play the birthday song on the violin but, I failed miserably. Now, let’s not talking about failures alright? Not especially my failures, but other people’s stupidity, yes, I can go on and on baybehhhh.

If I can choose my profession, I’ll probably be a violin maker because I think that’s the coolest profession EVAR. Or a politician. When I was younger, like 12, you know last time in sekolah rendah we always had to fill up this pink card that has ‘cita-cita’ (ambition) column and you get to choose 3? And I always filled in Music Teacher, Doctor, Lawyer. Or sometimes it’ll be Conductor, Doctor, Lawyer. Once, my class teacher said I had very low ambition because I wanted to be a Conductor and I actually replied, "Why? What’s so low class?" Then I waved my hands in the air and imagined an orchestra in front of me. Then my teacher said, "Oh, that conductor! Aku ingat bas konduktor yang jual tiket tu." Pundek babi sial.

I need to get my thoughts out because I’m afraid I couldn’t sleep again tonight. Too much of spending my time playing Guitar Heroes at night over at Stanley’s making my brain cells actively running up down left right; too active so I can’t rest. My brains won’t let me to. Coupled with that, after I head home and lay on the bed, I’ll turn on my Nintendo to complete PHOENIX ACE WRIGHT ATTORNEY JUSTICE FOR ALL! Man, that’s a mouthful but it’s so fun cos it’s PHOENIX ACE WRIGHT ATTORNEY JUSTICE FOR ALL! I love this game cos you get to be a lawyer and try to fight for your client hehehe. Damn nice! I’m also playing Power Rangers!!! So cool to brainlessly kick and slash your enemies with combo moves and cute graphics. Maybe I should start a blog to review on Nintendo games and only Nintendo games. Hmmmm….. Oh what the fuck for, since you’d find tones on it on the WWW already. Bah.

I hope to see Harold and Kumar 2 tomorrow, cos I want to laugh. Laugh hard like that scene in Over Her Dead Body. Until got tears and my legs and arms and body go uncontrollably spastic. I think I’m getting my period soon. Hope I will.

As I got out of the bus and out of the station, holding my Virginia Slims, I walked back to my flat all alone. The street was very quiet. Not a single person was at sight, other than some familiar faces of old people sitting by the benches. I was listening to 情人的眼泪 “Qing Ren De Yan Lei” (Lover’s Tears) on my phone.

Classic Chinese song with a certain blue-ness to it.

Couldn’t help but felt miserable and lonely. Missing home a lot. Miss my family, miss my dogs, miss my mum’s cooking, miss my mum’s tea, miss being pampered, miss everything about my home. My tears were uncontrollable.

Thinking….

WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING HERE IN THIS SHITHOLE???????????????

…

When I got back, I smiled.
And I knew everything’s going to be ok.

I just came back from a wake, my colleague’s aunt passed away. She was 72 years old.

I dreaded to go because I was afraid to be sad. Knowing that the wake will remind me of my late grandfather, I tried not to think so much about my grandfather, instead, tried to focus on knowing more about my colleague’s aunt’s death.

Apart from the "I’m sorry for your loss", I really didn’t know what else to say. Should I ask about how she died? Urgh, I was afraid to see my colleague cry half way through the story. Well, eventually I did ask and she let us in on what happened, bravely.

I didn’t cry, not a single tear. Yes, I thought about my late grandfather.

But I was in a way, happy. Because he is in a so much better place. 

Time to watch some South Park cartoons now!

I’ve just gotten back from my Stong trip when I received an SMS from my mother. She said, my cousin called, she was hysterical on the phone, and told my parents that both my aunt and uncle (my father’s brother) was involved in an accident.

My aunt died in the accident and my uncle is in critical condition. They were driving back to Sibu from Kuching. It was a head-on collision.

I was very shocked. I still am. I’m currently feeling OK, but I know her death has not gotten to me yet. It is still too sudden. I’m in half a state of denial. Perhaps in the next family gathering, when she’s not around, I will feel it.

Having your loved ones die in an accident is the worst thing that can happen to a person. Yes, sure, people die eventually. But a slow death from sickness or old age is more comforting than having to die from an accident. At least you’d be prepared for the death. Not as sudden as this. Not as unexpected as this.

That’s why every time I pray to God, which I seldom do, but every time I did, I’d pray for safety and health for my family. Not for riches, not to strike gold. Safety and health are the only 2 things in the world I ask of for my family and friends.

My parents are now in Sibu.

Hope my uncle survives. Please pray for him.