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I logged into my Friendster earlier because Dora sent me a message. I wouldn’t login to Friendster if I hadn’t received the email notification that Dora sent me a message because I’ve been busy Facebook-ing. Facebook is fun. It is so addictively fun that you login for the sake of login in, then do nothing, then click anywhere and everywhere, and then update when you needn’t had to, then log out and then find out that you missed poking someone else, then login again.

I just noticed that I’ve received a lot of well wishers from my friends on my birthday. Haha! I guess that’s one thing good about Friendster and Facebook, you do really keep in touch with friends. Although through the cyber space where the lack of physical intimacy (as in hugging and holding hands and picture taking) and laughter is prevalent, but it’s good to know that we’ve never forgotten about each other. Most of my school friends are now mothers. It’s weird to actually know that, because in my heart I still think of us as little girls and teenagers, yet to grow up, yet to be an adult. And we are already reaching our 30’s. Hmm, that sounded quite horrible.

Anyway, my Friendster column "Describe Who You Want To Meet" had my last answer of "Wang Lee Hom". Grrr. Now that I’ve met him, it wasn’t a very exciting experience. I was a complete retard. No, I should stop thinking about it. I am completely over it. Seriously, who the fuck cares?

I’ve been busy with living life these past few weeks, and I realized I hadn’t had the time to really enjoy the moment. I went to Amei and Linkin Park’s concert, and am going to My Chemical Romance’s next week. I think I sorta lost myself in those concerts. I just got back from Kanchanaburi, Thailand and Beijing, China trip, both equally exhausting but fun nevertheless. And this coming 2nd December, I am going for the Standard Chartered Marathon run. I wonder how I’d survive the marathon because I haven’t been training at all. I’d probably die of exhaustion, from all these previous activities. Yes, I promise pictures. I know I have to jot it down here before I forget every detail of it. That’s what this blog is supposed to be about anyway right? Online diary.

I received an sms during my Beijing trip. Now I’m in a dilemma. On one hand, I really want to go for it because it’s what I’ve longed to do all this while. On the other, I wouldn’t want to compromise my principles. So to continue pursuing a man’s dream, should I just let it go? My principles I mean. Is it a small price to pay to achieve what I’ve always wanted? It’s achieving what I’ve always wanted so important that I should lose my dignity? Should I persevere, knowing the fact that working towards your goal means sometimes you gotta let go of yourself?

I’ve been thinking about it. Would I be happy? Can’t I find alternative? Sure I could. But it’s here now, on my lap, without me having to search for it.

I honestly, don’t know the answers to my questions. 

After I missed Lee Hom in Singapore because I was busy mountain hiking, I thought when he’s coming last Friday, 9th November 2007, to Sungei Wang, Kuala Lumpur, to promote his latest album, I definitely definitely wouldn’t miss it in the world otherwise I would really kick myself in the ass!

Because it was a Friday, and seeing that I work in Singapore, I had to take 1 day leave just to go back to KL and make it for the 8pm showcase. In the interim, my mum and sis found out so much information for me, like if I had to redeem tickets or purchase some albums to get it. Apparently, a week before that, a counter was setup at Sungei Wang for people to redeem tickets and all you gotta have is Lee Hom’s latest Gai Bian Zhi Zi MALAYSIAN VERSION album. But that week has gone by when I got to know about it, so my mum called Sony BMG and they said that they might setup a booth at the gate at 6pm for last minute fans to redeem tickets but I have to be there early as they are anticipating long queues from fans. My mum told me that the girl on the other line was so fed up because my mum kept asking questions.

I love my mum. She is so supportive of me. Muaks. 

So, it didn’t matter if I was truly the number one fan (which I like to call myself), that I went through quite painful means to be the 1st person to purchase his latest album when it was released in Singapore, I still CANNOT redeem the tickets because I have to have the MALAYSIAN VERSION of the album, eventhough the covers and the music are the same, just that the MALAYSIAN VERSION of the album has that shiny sticker by Lembaga Penapisan Filem Malaysia.

Fine, I guess this is Malaysia’s Sony BMG’s ‘great’ con marketing skills to get people to buy his album in Malaysia so that the sales figures show. Awesome.

When I arrived in KL at about 1:30pm by coach (my morning bus was at 8:15am), I went straight to the venue, 4th Floor Sungei Wang car park and saw jackshit nothing. I saw only cars, no stage, no paparazzi, no screaming fans, not even Lee Hom songs blaring from speakers, which, by this time, it should have been. And there were no booths either. Dejected, I went downstairs to the ground floor and asked at the information counter if I could redeem tickets anymore for the showcase and he said, yes I could do that last week, and I could still go to the car park and see Lee Hom but I wouldn’t be able to go in to the special zone to get the album signed. And I told him, "Look moron, I came all the way here from Singapore, you gotta give me better information than this. And I’m tired, I haven’t eaten since morning, I’m exhausted from my bus ride, and between me and you, I won’t be the only person who would look like shit."

He looked at me, tilted his head sideways and said, "You can go and see the stage now, it’s there, it’s at the open area on the far left side."

(A belated post.)

Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…..

HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

And this blog is 2 years old. 

My day started out with a delivery for me in the morning, a bouquet of roses! 27 stalks!

How lovely  

My first thought was, must be from my family. So true enough, it was. Sigh. I was stupid for a little while to expect that it was from Lee Hom. Stupid stupid. Still, a girl deserves to dream and dreams are free. Of course I know for damn sure that it wasn’t my boyfriend who sent me the flowers because I deliberately asked for an iPod and I’ll be pissed as hell if this flowers were the substitute.

Actually I didn’t expect anything from my family at all, but this was a really nice surprise. I’m so lucky. (But must be the SG dollars I’ve been carrying home muahahahahaha.) 

And as per our office tradition, we always surprise the birthday fella with birthday cake. We’ve done it so many times, it’s always NOT a surprise anymore, cos the birthday fella would expect it.

Like I did. So I read everyone’s moves like the King of Gambler and successfully sabotage my colleague’s plan. And it’s very simple to read their moves, cos it’s usually Jamie the one who brings in the cake from the same door which is right in front of me, that leads to the pantry area, where the cake would be lit up. Cos I’ve done the same thing a couple of million times.

So when she exit the door, I tapped my toes, waited for approximately 48.6 seconds, I made my move. I opened the door and she was behind it, holding the cake.

Borat Success!   Sabo Plan Surprise –> Mission Accomplished.

OK lar, at least my colleagues were still sweet enough to surprise me. Here’s the cake, so full of love:

And a photo of me cutting the cake, as if it is so interesting. (Photo credit to Fook Won)

Although everyday I do think of Lee Hom, but because my birthday was a special occasion when I am officially one year older, I could only think of Lee Hom much more than usual.

So crazy, but cannot control. Cannot work. Talk. Word out. Lee Hom Lee Hom Lee Hom.

Gosh, I’m really going insane. I know my colleagues sensed it, my friends sensed it, they are probably pissing tired of me spewing Lee Hom’s name in autobot mode.

When suddenly, I received an email:

An ecard from Lee Hom???

*click*

- (Died of heart attack.) -

Seems that just an ecard was not enough from Lee Hom!

OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!

… and again … !!!!!

-_- !!!!!!!!

Heh. Super happy I tell ya.

After work that day a.k.a. fantasy land, my boyfriend took me to Meritus Mandarin at Orchard, to have dinner at the revolving restaurant called ‘M’. Really sweet jek. I was expecting food court but this is acceptable orait. I’ve been to the revolving restaurant at Federal Hotel last year but that was really sucky you know you won’t go the second time.

In short, ‘M’ was so great, stepping into the dining area can even make you cum. The ambience was really romantic and the menu was luxurious. (I wonder if that description made any sense). It was not overly crowded so it was not noisy like a market and table spacing was perfect. The service was greater than best, and oh my, the food was orgasmic too:

They serve French cuisine and I had no complains whatsoever and I do consider myself quite particular about food. Even my boyfriend noticed that I didn’t complain at all. What? I always complain meh…

We had set dinner; a starter, a main course and dessert with coffee/tea. The set can go from S$98 to S$140, so yes, be prepared to pay THE price. But I can seriously tell you, it is worth every penny. We even decided to dine there once a month if we can. I have always been a person of food, I don’t mind paying for good food and wine. Some people view food as go into your stomach come out from asshole and they hold dear to that kind of philosophy. As for me, food is to be enjoyed, to savour, to taste every bit of sweet, sour, salty, bitterness or hot/cold and the texture of food in your mouth; chewy, hard, soft, lumpy… you get the drift.

The highlight of the evening was the string band, consisting of 3 members; 2 on guitar and one on cello. When I heard music, I thought it was from the hotel’s music player. As soon as the music was over, the tables behind us clapped, then I knew it was live. But wow, they sounded really good! And they played slow songs to suit the ambience, some oldies, some classics, some love songs. The band serenaded the diners, asking them if they had any song request, table by table and I knew soon they would come to ours.

This is the moment. In my mind, I had nothing but one objective.

[S A B O T A G E] 

What should I ask them to play? Should I request for Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody or Scorpion’s Still Loving You?

When our turn came, I asked for Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody but got rejected… sigh… and they even laughed nervously. My boyfriend gave me the fuck-off-bitch look and he said he wanted to listen to something romantic. So they discussed for a while, and decided on Boyzone’s Everyday I Love You.

Let me tell you this. I have never been a fan of Boyzone. I have never had a Boyzone song in my music playlist. Ever.

But when this guy started singing, wow. Like a voice of an angel. A male angel; cos angels are like, you know, genderless. He made the song so beautiful. It’s not the song that is beautiful, but his voice and the strings and the band harmonizing together… what a deadly combination to kill all hatred in the air. I think I nearly teared.

One more song to go, so I asked for a Chinese one. He wanted to sing Xiao Wei (alamak). Would totally spoil the whole lovey-dovey mood.

So they sang what all bands in the world would know how to sing, regardless of race.

月亮代表我的心 - The Moon Represents My Heart by Teresa Teng.

  I nearly melted in my chair. So romantic lor.

After dinner, I went to party with my friends at MOS. The worst agenda of the day. You know now MOS is so infested with transvestites? I didn’t know that nobody ever goes there anymore. I wanna see hunks, I wanna see pretty girls, but please, not transvestites lor. It’s ok if they shut their mouth, but when they start talking, it’s like… ok just imagine Angelina Jolie talking and sounding like Hugh Jackman. Hah! Damn geli I tell you! And ever seen guys kissing transvestites and publicly molesting them? Go to MOS! Free fun thrill! Get blinded! Not only that, what’s wrong with the music? What kinda shit are those DJ dishing out? Noise? Even my playlist is better without the mixing hello. Ok friends, thanks for coming, I know you all didn’t enjoy it but it’s OK, cos I didn’t either. Bleh. Next stop, NOT EVER AT MOS duh. MOS sucks big time.

All in all, I had the best ever birthday celebration since years now. It’s great to have friends, it’s great to have you reading this right now. I still feel sometimes it’s a little childish to celebrate birthdays. Unless you’re about to turn 50 years old or something significant…

But I’d like to stay in this moment forever…

birthday roses cake meritus mandarin orchard m food french Ministry of Sound transvestites boyzone the moon represents my heart teresa teng

WANG LEE HOM WAS HERE ON THE 30TH SEPTEMBER FOR AUTOGRAPH SIGNING AND I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW????????

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

Haih.

Sad.

Feeling like committing suicide.

So very sad….

And I only knew it yesterday. All because of Lawrence idiot. Go and show me his album with that invitation voucher for the autograph session. I was so so the hurt… if it was quiet enough I think you can hear my heart breaking. 

Anyway, immediately after that felt excited cos going to watch Lust, Caution. When I sat on the theater while waiting for the movie to be shown, I felt like I was going for my first date. Butterflies in my stomach, so nervous hehe.

So yes, I’ve watched Lust, Caution. Only because Lee Hom is in it. Only because of you my darling (if you’re reading this Lee Hom XOXO)

One word.

BEST.

*SPOILERS AHEAD* 

Here’s the plot from the official site:

The new film from Ang Lee, the Academy Award-winning director of “Brokeback Mountain” and “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.”

I had some reservations watching Ang Lee’s movies. I thought the "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" was so unrealistic and too unnecessarily dramatic. 

A startling erotic espionage thriller about the fate of an ordinary woman’s heart, it is based on the short story by revered Chinese author Eileen Chang, and stars Asian cinema icon Tony Leung opposite screen newcomer Tang Wei. Shanghai, 1942. The World War II Japanese occupation of this Chinese city continues in force. Mrs. Mak, a woman of sophistication and means, walks into a café, places a call, and then sits and waits. She remembers…how her story began several years earlier, in 1938 China. She is not in fact Mrs. Mak, but shy Wong Chia Chi (Tang Wei). With WWII underway, Wong has been left behind by her father, who has escaped to England. As a freshman at university, she meets fellow student Kuang Yu Min (Wang Leehom) Kuang has started a drama society to shore up patriotism. As the theater troupe’s new leading lady, Wong realizes that she has found her calling, able to move and inspire audiences - and Kuang. He convenes a core group of students to carry out a radical and ambitious plan to assassinate a top Japanese collaborator, Mr. Yee (Tony Leung). Each student has a part to play; Wong will be Mrs. Mak, who will gain Yee’s trust by befriending his wife (Joan Chen) and then draw the man into an affair. Wong transforms herself utterly inside and out, and the scenario proceeds as scripted - until an unexpectedly fatal twist spurs her to flee. Shanghai, 1941. With no end in sight for the occupation, Wong - having emigrated from Hong Kong - goes through the motions of her existence. Much to her surprise, Kuang re-enters her life. Now part of the organized resistance, he enlists her to again become Mrs. Mak in a revival of the plot to kill Yee, who as head of the collaborationist secret service has become even more a key part of the puppet government. As Wong reprises her earlier role, and is drawn ever closer to her dangerous prey, she finds her very identity being pushed to the limit…

This newcomer, Tang Wei, really stole the whole show. She is damn bloody good, even I got seduced by her. Wow. She can speak so many languages in the movie, I am really impressed. Albeit, she is not exactly hot looking and has a great figure like Jessica Alba, but there is something elegant and mysterious about her that captured my attention. She is so suitable for the era, for the character; she can play both an innocent school girl and a rich seductive mistress. The way she moved her body, the way she walked, the way she reacted … she is damn bloody good.

I want to start wearing cheong sam already also. 

Tony Leung, as usual, good lor. Aiyah, he can stand still and everyone will still say it’s powerful acting. I hated him so much in the movie, because he is a traitor to the Chinese, he is a pervert and he is a little bit insane in the membrane.

(Image taken from china.org.cn) 

When Wang Lee Hom’s character first appeared in the movie, I thought he was a little bit out of place. He’s too handsome lah. Like everyone around him looks so Chinese, small eyes, looks ah pek, ah beng, ah lian, then suddenly there stood Lee Hom, looking oh-so-fine and nobody’s noticing him. Kinda weird if you ask me.

I’m sure everyone’s going to especially pay attention to Lee Hom’s acting, in the most negative way. Well, Lee Hom, you did a great job. You were superb, your acting skills improved tremendously. I like how you looked so ambitious when you were a student, I could feel your loyalty and passion to your country. I could feel your sincerity to protect Wong Chia Chi and the unspoken love for her.

I really like the setting of the movie, felt like I was back in that time. No wonder Lee Hom got so affected and his songs got so mellow in his latest album. I guess I would be too. I am even liking Fei Yu Qing’s songs now….  

Also just found out today that the version I watched here in Singapore is the censored one, for 30 whole minutes! Need to get the DVD version already. 

After watching this movie, I am so proud to be a Chinese. We have so much culture, tradition and so many different dialects. And I only know 2: Cantonese and Mandarin, and not even good at them. We should strive to maintain the Chinese-sy of us, otherwise we will lose our own identity.

lust caution

Now, before I forget this, which I don’t think I will, I shall jot down my most passionate wet dream evaarrr.

OK, I bet it’s no secret that I absolutely adore Wang Lee Hom. And it’s not because he’s just damn good looking, which is not against the law by the way, but I got attracted to him first, because of his Heroes of Earth and Shangri-la album. Now, I’ve mentioned this time and time and again that I am not a crazy bitch, but I do…. on and off …. fantasize about Wang Lee Hom before I go to sleep. Not the sexual kind of fantasy mind you, just the picturing in my mind an exact time and place where I would ‘accidently’ bump into Lee Hom and we would chat and he would fall in love with me and we would date, you know those cheesy story lines chinese MTVs always have. 

So last week, which was like close to mooncake festival, I finally dreamt about Wang Lee Hom in the first time of my life.

Here’s how the dream went.

I was at my house, don’t know which house, but seems like I was somewhere in Taiwan. Outside, people were celebrating the mooncake festival, so it was noisy but cheerful atmosphere. There was a mooncake at my table, so I took the whole chunk and put it in my mouth. Yes, the whole chunk.

I went outside to join the celebration, I saw many firecrackers and balloons and banners hanging around. Everyone started dancing. Remember, the chunk of mooncake still in my mouth. Suddenly, someone announced that Wang Lee Hom was there as a guest artiste, and I got super excited. He walked down from the stage and stood right in front of me. He introduced himself as Lee Hom and offered his hand to shake. Of course I did but when I tried to speak, I couldn’t because of the damn mooncake in my mouth. Spit also cannot, talk also cannot. I remember feeling embarassed.

There was so much I wanted to say to Lee Hom, so I invited him to my house and took a piece of paper and started writing out my thoughts and gave it to him to read. I forgot what I wrote. The next thing I knew, we started kissing.

I tell you. It. Felt. So. Real.

And we were…. *ahem* = foreplay. And after foreplay we… *ahem*

I shall spare some other details.

Then I fucking woke up.

But I woke up feeling really really happy. 

Ah so I’ve been busy these past couple of weeks, practising for my first singing debut.

The day finally came and went.

*poof* suddenly all I’ve waited for was just gone, like a smoke.

If you think performing is easy, it really isn’t! It really isn’t that nice to be on a stage when all eyes are scutinizing you, waiting for you to make a mistake. I know I have been practising but at that time it felt like practise wasn’t enough at all. I should have practised more than I can.

Waiting for the time to be on stage was the most nerve wrecking. My mind kept running through all the techniques and all the breathing and all the tunes. I went to the bathroom twice to psych myself up. My teacher saw that I was nervous and all he can say is "don’t worry, just enjoy yourself out there." Yea fine, easy for him to say! He has done this a million times!

Actually there are a lot more going on back stage. I’m just too lazy to fill you in.

In the end, teacher said I did very well, he wanted to give me a kiss there and then on stage. If he did I would have karate-d his ballz there and then too. If it’s Lee Hom, he can kiss me all he wants. (Damn double standard).

The weirdest thing of all is when I got paid at the very end. Receiving the money was …. really weird. I really don’t know how to explain the feeling. 

I sang for 2 hours non-stop. The crowd was a little scary and passive but after the concert, they came and shook my hands and said my performance was great. Well, hope they weren’t being polite!

I’m going to stop singing for a week first to concentrate on my day job (bore). 

I really miss playing the piano. I was at a hotel last Friday and I saw this really nice grand piano in white. I really felt like stealing a few moments with it.

Compared to playing the piano and sing, I’d rather play the piano. At least I can see my fingers, I can see the keys, I know where I make or going to make a mistake and it is easy to correct my mistakes because I can see them.

Singing is totally different. You can’t see your voice, you can’t even anticipate what’s going to come out of your throat or diaphragm. It can come out wrong sometimes and practise it’s all you have to do until your diaphragm get used to it. Hard!!

My next target is being able to perform singing and playing the piano at the same time

The much awaited album by Wang Lee Hom:

I’m so happy.

I went to get the album from Sembawang during lunch time. Ah, the feeling of seeing his album is like going on a first date. Butterflies in stomach, so damn nervous! Anyway, I got quite disappointed cos got no poster  but nevermind, it’s a good thing. We shouldn’t idolize him, instead focus on listening to his music.

So THE official English title of his album is "Change Me". No more arguments here… not "Change My Ways" or "Change Myself". If the album title mentioned "Change Me" then it’s "Change Me". 

Here’s how the inside of the CD album looks like:

As you can see the design is very simple but I’m sure it has something gotta do with saving the environment. There wasn’t any plastic cover that came with it.

And Lee Hom, you are very skinny already. Should eat more.

Because I was super happy…

I bought his previous 2 albums too!

Shangri-La (Xin Zhong De Ri Yue) and Evolution.

Cover of Shangri-la. 

I finally had the chance to fully listen to "Change Me" earlier. It was good, but I still prefer his previous Heroes of Earth. I really like Lee Hom when he has that "chinked-out" fire burning in him, but in this album, I don’t hear much of the "chinked-out"-ness. Rather, this album gave me a very old school feeling, like back to the olden days. I can imagine things to be still black and white, you know, that era. Even some songs sound familiar, especially the first song "Gai Bian Zhi Zi" sounded like W-H-Y. Maybe the Ang Lee movie "Lust, Caution" affected his song writing for this album. 

I wished that Lee Hom can write his messages in his album sleeves, in English too, for the benefit of people like me who listens to his songs eventhough I may not understand what he’s singing. Well hey, music does not discriminate, so we musn’t too.

P/S: My friend quickly MSNed me at 1:00AM earlier to watch Channel U. I asked him "why" and he said, "you say leh". Without much thought, I quickly ran to the living room and turned on the TV. And there he was, Wang Lee Hom in a talk show with Alan Luo. OMG, Lee Hom really look so thin. But he’s so shy when he played games with his girl fans *I’m so jealoussss*. He even cooked instant noodle for that girl! Urgh, I will melt there and then. FREAKING JEALOUS! Ok enough, really don’t want to sound like a crazy bitch.