Relationship
I gave up on a long term relationship of more than 5 years. While most people around me were shocked or didn’t know how to react when I broke the news and some were just asking questions because they were being busybody, I really don’t give a shit about your opinion. Nor do I feel the need to explain or answer to you. But then again I do want to write about it. So here goes.

The underlying reason is my own selfishness. And that is all. I had a great relationship with a wonderful man whom to this day and possibly forever will always have a space in my heart. Nothing is going to change that.

So I may regret this decision. So be it.

To this relationship, I only have good memories.

Job
This year has been exceptionally bad. The economic downturn and heaps of internal issues happening in our office, I thought it would never end. Can you imagine, within the span of 8 months, I have had 4 different bosses?

But despite all that, it has a been a great year of achievement for me. Many a times I wondered if it’s just pure luck and timing, and the fact that I’m Monkey in this Ox year. Always I have been told otherwise by my peers and immediate bosses that the successes I have achieved were all down to my pure hard work. To be honest, it didn’t feel like hard work. It was a naturally enjoyable process for me. Yes there were obstacles and challenges and utterly stupid people to deal with, but that did not bother me at work. Yes yes I rant here but that’s about it. For the first time, I think I have to say and it’s alright to say that I am very proud of myself.

With that, I have finally decided to move on. I finally quit my job. It was such a relief for me. Huge sigh.

And whether I will be successful (of course I do want to be successful) or if I fail, I know I have mummy to go home to. It’s just a job, right?

New Place
At the same time, I will also be shifting to a new place and staying with 2 hot girls, not a houseful of people.

New Beginning
And so I have decided, this will be my last post here. I have far too many memories to delete this space. At the same time, I also want to start afresh, like all the other aspects of my life.

It has been a pleasure enjoying your read-ness-ship. Thanks for all your comments. If you have nothing to do online, feel free to read all my older archives.

Till we meet again.

Work has been good, I just want to tell you. Very good. I am happy with my job at the moment. No complains. Yet.

Last Saturday, I hung out with Sue. Have not seen her for quite some time but always happy to because she is like totally outside of my industry, which is nice. She sometimes does not understand what I do nor I understand what she does for a living, so we never talk about work, which is awesome, right? Right. After dinner at our usual Cafe Cartel, we headed to Clarke Quay for drinks.

First, our favourite hang out place was Pump Room, but resident band was not in. A very cute and petite female vocalist lead another band. She sounded like Tina Turner with not bad music but, I still preferred the resident band. After 1 set, we then headed to China One (groan), cos got no choice. Songs we much better and more desperate guys there as well. The entire night, I had 1 bottle of Corona and 1 pineapple malibu. Stoned. Sue then drove me to Mr. Prata afterwards, had supper, still stoned. Came back home and went to bed with my dancing clothes and make up on and woke up at noon. Fucking stoned or what man?

On Sunday afternoon, I watched "The Taking of Pelham 123". Denzel Washington is such a genius. John Travolta… a bit unconvincing playing the bad guy. He said "muthafucker"s way too cute to sound evil. Then hung out with Jac for dinner at Arab Street, had some Arab food and wine afterwards. Stoned again. I love Jac. She’s cool.

Now I sit here and I’m thinking about white wine. Am I turning into an alcoholic? 

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First stop, Friday night upon arrival – CHAR KUEY TEOW at Ming Tien, Damansara. The Char Kuey Teow is so so la, I know can get better ones anywhere, but anywhere is fine since anywhere is better than Singapore’s Char Kuey Teow which is basically noodles with sugar water. Have I ever mentioned that Ming Tien has the best Hokkien noodles ar? Damn syiok. Had a plate of that also. And grilled sambal stingray with sugarcane juice.

Saturday morning woke up at 9am which to me was a miracle. But I had a mission. Went downstairs, grabbed my dad’s electric guitar and started jamming with dad and sister and 2 amps plus piano. Dad was on bass and I was the lead. Mostly strumming and humming the solos, hahahahaha. We played lots of Beatles, Maroon 5, Rod Stewart, My Chemical Romance, Scorpions, Muse and Guns N Roses. The real deal, not Guitar Hero material. Dad printed a whole stack of music with chords already, very prepared. We jammed about half a day, very enjoyable.

On piano, I have pretty much conquered Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata, now trying to perfect Johannes Brahm’s Intermezzo in a Major, Op. 118 No. 2. Tough piece to play but lovely to hear. Here is the track if you are interested: http://alturl.com/x545. I’m wondering if I will ever perfect the piece. Not very confident though. Although piano had an overhaul, some lower keys couldn’t be fixed, so it was still out of tune. Most apparent one was my C# and C.

Afterwards, we drove to Ulu Yam for best Loh Mee and really best lor. It was at this old Chinese kampung area, quite hidden, in a shop that also doubles as a house. I have never ever eaten such nice Loh Mee before in my entire life, just the right portion of sourish taste and vinegar and noodles cooked perfectly, with ice guava juice. Then, we drove up to Genting in the hopes of, always, wanting to win money. First of, me and my sister played at the arcade, did some dance dance revolution, some silent hill shooting, some more crap shooting then some music games which I RULED. Sister wanted to play that Para Para dancing game but machine was not found. After about spending RM50 on arcade machines, we then went to meet my parents at the casino hall. Dad was on his usual jackpot slot machine and mum was at table. We all played on for a few more hours, we left poorer than when we arrived. So there.

On Sunday, we spent the entire afternoon lazing around, and about 6 o clock, we had BBQ to celebrate Father’s Day. Burnt some chicken wings, squids, fish, broccoli, abalone mushrooms, prawns and sweet potatoes. Mum boiled dessert too, some herbal stuff to prevent ‘heatiness’ after all the food. Later at night, went out for supper at mamak.

It was a really good weekend. I love my family. We are very close and I think nothing will ever change that. I am grateful.

You say you’re leaving as you look away
I know there’s really nothing left to say
Just know I’m here whenever you need me
I’ll wait for you

So I’ll let you go
I’ll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me

Take your time I won’t go anywhere
Picture you with the wind in your hair
I’ll keep your things right where you left them
I’ll be here for you

Oh and I’ll let you go
I’ll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me

And I hope you find everything that you need
I’ll be right here waiting to see
You find you come back to me

I can’t get close if you’re not there
I can’t get inside if there’s no soul to bear
I can’t fix you I can’t save you
It’s something you have to do

So I’ll let you go
I’ll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me
Come back to me
So I’ll let you go
I’ll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me

And I hope you find everything that you need
I’ll be right here waiting to see 
You find you come back to me

When you find you come back to me 
When you find you come back to me
When you find you come back to me

- David Cook 

It was completely out of tuned, I could play a stretch of keys, the blacks and the whites, and they would all sound the same. You can imagine how horrible it would sound when I play Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. Jeng jeng jeng. Nobody wanted to come over to our house to tune because it is just too damn far from everything else. A week ago, someone finally came over to inspect the piano and found that all the keys and strings and nuts and bolts and whatnots were loose and unstable. So a major overhaul has to happen and it costs about RM1k. A week now and back, the piano is all good, says mum. Have not tested it yet though. Would do that when I am back home.

In other news, my dad just purchased a brand new electric guitar with amp. Cool or what? I was quite shocked at first, I thought, gee, my dad’s playing gigs now with a band I didn’t even know of and here I am struggling with recording with my own band? Mum clarified afterwards that dad has been wanting to buy an electric guitar for about a year already, and finally he did it last weekend. Mum says, Dad is really awesome with the guitar and the sound is really good and Dad even taught her how to play. How fucking romantic is that?

At some point in my life I would want to be this spontaneous and not care too much about tiny details and every damn thing. It’s really unhealthy and frustrating for me to over-analyze. Because I know I will not come to a conclusion that I want. I would come to a conclusion that everybody else will be happy with. No idea why the fuck I’m doing this for. This has to stop.

But I’m still glad my dad is cool.

Update: A week later, my dad bought an additional bass guitar. Yeah!